US: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
UK: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
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| Wacky Stories For Women Volume One by John M W Smith |
Everything
about Andy is too good to be true, so what is his secret? Has Joan really got
everything that a woman could possibly wish for? Cathy is in no mood for the
attentions of a cocktail -bar-Romeo, and it looks as if he’s about to turn
nasty! What on earth is it that Gina’s boyfriend wants her to do to make him
happy? Just what is included for Becky in this supermarket’s not to be missed
special offer? Is Alison going to simply stand by while another woman walks
away with her hard-won prize? How can Julia’s husband Harry possibly hope to
compete with all those other candidates who have applied for The Job to die
for? Paul is always putting her down and Living In The Country would be Ali’s
idea of heaven if only she could get rid of him. But how? Here are eight
carefully crafted stories designed to surprise and entertain you, the reader,
and at the end to have you say, ‘well, I’ll be……! I never saw that coming!’
This is the
first in a four volume series of stories, each with an amazing twist at the
end.
Author Quiz
interviews John M W Smith…
What is it that
you love most about writing?
What I love most
about writing is that for me, it is an escape into worlds far more interesting
than the one I can expect in my daily life. In these worlds I am able to meet
fascinating people with unusual characters, travel to distant places (there
was, and is, a 1970s rock band called The Moody Blues, and a line in one of
their songs goes "thinking is the best way to travel”. This is so true!).
Without my writing I would literally wither away and die---so boring would I
find the tedium of everyday life. Writing is a drug that affords escape and
unleashes creativity without any harmful side effects, and I'm addicted to it.
I only feel truly alive when I'm writing. Without it I grow short tempered,
irritable, and depressed. For me there is no greater pleasure than to finish,
to my complete satisfaction, a piece of writing. The buzz I get is huge, the
sense of elation and accomplishment beyond compare! It is no exaggeration to
say a writer feels Godlike in his or her ability to create worlds, characters,
creatures, scenarios and landscapes at will, of outstanding complexity and
simple beauty, that will make the reader gasp with pleasure, and leave him/her
in a state of wonder and speculation for many hours or days. Any soon-forgotten
or boring piece of writing is no good to anyone--- you might as well go out and
wash the car!
Why do you
enjoy writing in your usual genre? What is it about your usual genre that
appeals to you most as a writer?
I write in two
genres. I like and enjoy them equally. These are; (1) Twist in the tale short
stories (mine usually feature a woman as the main character) (2) Young
adult/teen---the central character may be male or female, I am equally at ease
writing from either perspective. Short stories and full-length novels each
require a completely different approach or mindset. Many writers find it very
difficult to switch from one to the other--- most build their career on either,
but never on both. I don't have such a problem, although the novels I write
tend to be on the short side, average 35,000 words. As far as I am concerned,
whether I am writing short stories or novels, I am guided by certain elements
and strategies that are common to both. These underpin my whole approach to
writing. It is these elements that provide me with a massive amount of
enjoyment, which I hope I am communicating to the reader. What are they? Well,
I like to create an immediate sense of urgency and tension, if possible in the
very first couple of sentences. I need to establish the conflict as soon as
possible. The main characters should appear very quickly. What they are up
against must seem insurmountable. They must be sympathetic, readers quickly get
bored of characters whom they do not care about because the writer has not
invested enough effort in making them come alive in a way that matters to the
readers, that awakens something deep within them with which they can connect,
become concerned about/empathise with, so that the characters become an
extension of the readers themselves. I like to spin a story that holds the
readers’ concentration quickly and without fuss, and, most importantly to my
mind, without needless sentimentality or mawkishness. It is the metamorphosis
of the characters, as the story progresses, with the deepening of the mystery
or conflict, that I enjoy most when involved in this creative process, be it
with short stories or with full-length novels.
Would your
books (Look Out....Mum's Gone Crackers!, Hunting The Beast, May Never The Dead Return, Running With Zombies) work best as movie
adaptations or as a TV series?
I do not think
that I could prolong just one story into a series. It is not the way I am wired
up creatively. I need to take the reader on a rollercoaster journey that has a
start and a finish with no waiting around for long periods of time with
protracted events and outcomes; I think that a series is almost a completely
different art form in the demands it makes on both writer and reader. In
Western society especially, nowadays people are looking for instant gratification
and results, immediate rewards--- they have so much else competing for
attention in their daily lives that time and concentration are both lacking in
their availability, so this makes my kind of writing more suited to the modern,
busy readers who want to escape for a while, just a while, before getting back
to the demands awaiting them elsewhere in their lives. However, this is not to
say that my books cannot be turned into a TV series--- they could, but most
definitely this would need the input of a team of writers, as this is the way a
TV series is provided with its weekly episodes. It is a task which I would not
be able to handle on my own, nor would I be interested in doing so. In
conclusion I could see my books as potential movies, particularly in view of
the fact that the stories in my head always progress in the way that a movie
does.
Are any of your
characters based on yourself and, if so, to what degree, and do you find it
easier or more difficult to write characters based on yourself?
To my mind this is
probably the easiest question to answer. All my characters will always have a
bit of me in them. I cannot see any other way in which I could get them to act
authentically or convincingly. We are all Jekyll and Hyde personalities and
most of us embody many Jekylls and Hydes– – – the only time we can get to know
them to the extent of being able to make them come out into the open for all
the world to see is through writing about them, allowing them to develop based
on the vast number of people we have met in our lives and the impression these
people have left on our sub-conscious minds. How far we allow these characters
to develop in terms of outrageousness, and evil, is always dictated by how
outrageous or evil the writer is him or herself capable of being. So writers
beware, your characters could be saying things about you that you did not know
about yourself, much less would have wished the world to know about. As a
result, no one in this whole wide world knows me better than I know myself – –
– but who knows, I might be wrong(!)
Positive reviews.
Most definitely. Authentic positive reviews, not the fake ones from families
and friends that are being posted on Amazon nowadays. Because an authentic and
positive review tells the truth about the product, in this case a book or
e-book. In other words one can advertise a book as much as one likes – – – and
yes, it will still sell – – – but the sales will be short lived if the book
itself is no good. The problem is to find proper reviewers– – – and, having
found them, to get them to deliver the review. Most of them are booked up for
many months ahead and therefore decline straightaway. And, sadly, many of those
who agree to review, then fail to deliver the review, and the writer cannot do
anything about it, having wasted so much time in the expectation of the
promised review. This has been my experience. So even though, deep down, I know
I have a good product, I still find it a backbreaking and disillusioning ordeal
to find authentic reviewers who deliver, and meanwhile I am frustrated to see
five-star ratings appear on substandard works by not so scrupulous writers. We
need reviewers. Many more.
What advice
would you give to publishing houses with regard to how to go forward and adapt
to the industry over the next few years?
Start shedding
your commitment to paper books and reorganise your operations to produce
e-book's---do it now. You have nothing to lose and much to gain by being in the
forefront of the e-book revolution. The staff who are made redundant can be
trained to provide specialist marketing skills such as online marketing to
niche markets amongst others. Writers do not have the time to market their
books online and at the same time keep up their writing output. It is one at
the expense of the other. And whereas a writer is born with the gift of
writing, anyone can learn online marketing – – – so let the writer do what s/he
does best and retrain your staff to provide online marketing for writers. Be
mindful of how many rainforests you will save and ecosystems will be enhanced
through cutting down the production of paper books. There are huge
opportunities to bring learning and education to countless millions of people
who cannot access it for reasons of cost – – – this can all change as
publishers can easily down-price ebooks to an extent where the resulting sales
increase can more than offset what they lose through lowering prices.
What are some
of your favourite quotes from reviews that you have received?
“There has to be a
plus to a man specifically writing with a woman in mind and there is no doubt
he has a talent for writing short stories ending with a punch line. Should the
author expand his talents and write a complete book using one of the stories
contained in his volumes I would certainly review it.”
“bluefish”,
reviewer of LL Book Reviews
“I for one am
willing to read new stuff, and boy am I glad that I read these books by John
M.W. Smith. So far I have read one of the Wacky books. These are collections of
short stories and they are such a pleasant surprise. I really like each of the
stories, they are well written with relatable characters, great plots, complete
story lines with good endings. Well done Mr. Smith. I will recommend all of
your books to my friends and anyone else that will listen.”
Patricia C, reviewer,
(“Patty the Bookworm” Apopka, Fl. U.S.A.)
“WACKY STORIES FOR
KIDS is true to its name. This is a book of short stories for children that I
found very interesting. I think some are cute, funny and some truly weird. In
Margo Bigbelly the author gives a very interesting way to solve problems with
bullies. I really enjoyed this story and feel my older son will enjoy it too. I
also loved learning how a rainbow is made.”
Reviewed by Rae
for MyBookAddictionAndMore.com
“They are
brilliant, all of them. Great beginning, original plot, unexpected ending,
great titles)). All of them made me smile, two made me cry - i mean it, i
actually had tears in my eyes (over retired greyhound and of course
temptation). You're a great author. You have a way with words, good sense of
humour and a kind heart, which is a much rarer gift than talent.”
Katerina
Komissarova, Russian Language Teacher (has translated WACKY STORIES FOR WOMEN into
Russian)
“John Smith has
compiled a small collection of short stories that are definitely unique! He puts a twist on seemingly straight forward happenings and turns them into
quirky stories with unusual outcomes. This author has definitely put his creative mind to good use. My personal favorite was the story, 'Dancing Dad'. It was sweet and also has a
great lesson for kids. If you are looking for some funny and easy to read stories, I suggest looking
through John Smith's many short story books.”
Jill Swanson of
‘Littlehyuts’ reviews.
“This author Mr.
John M.W. Smith has a few winners on his hands here. The books are a collection
of short stories. These stories aren't really 'scary' but they are suspensful.
Whatever you might call them, they are well written. They are good. They are
complete. They have a beginning and an end which is important to me. I really
hate for an author to leave me hanging. Especially if there are many unanswered
questions. Well, you will find none of that in Mr. Smith's 'Scary' and 'Wacky'
books. I had a tough time putting the kindle away.I hope Mr. Smith never stops
writing these kind of books.”
By Patricia C.
"Patty the bookworm" (Apopka, Fl. U.S.A.)
“A quirky short
story with a twist at the end. The author's tone is perfect, even though he is
telling the story from the female's point-of-view. Be careful how you behave
the next time you teach someone to drive.”
Review by: Lynda Dickson on
Aug. 12, 2012
“Who hasn't feared
driving? This story captures the moment perfectly! Told in a humourous yet serious tone
(I don't know how the author does it!) it's perfectly written! Five stars.”
Review by: Alaska Everfall on
Jan. 09, 2012
Review of HUNTING
THE BEAST:
“Sandy, the protagonist, is a lanky teen, whose body has not quite caught up with her feminine feelings. Recently widowed former circus-owner Gran has a farm populated by some of her favorites from the old days. Visiting Gran, Sandy learns that local farmers are on the hunt for a beast that has killed several sheep. She also learns that Gran's pet panther has gone AWOL. Desperate to save the animal from the locals, she meets up with a trio of youngsters including two boys, who are ready to help. The short novel chronicles their adventures, triumphs and sorrows...
Written in the first person as regaled by Sandy, the story flows smoothly and easily. Young readers should enjoy it tremendously.”
“Sandy, the protagonist, is a lanky teen, whose body has not quite caught up with her feminine feelings. Recently widowed former circus-owner Gran has a farm populated by some of her favorites from the old days. Visiting Gran, Sandy learns that local farmers are on the hunt for a beast that has killed several sheep. She also learns that Gran's pet panther has gone AWOL. Desperate to save the animal from the locals, she meets up with a trio of youngsters including two boys, who are ready to help. The short novel chronicles their adventures, triumphs and sorrows...
Written in the first person as regaled by Sandy, the story flows smoothly and easily. Young readers should enjoy it tremendously.”
Patricia Austin
(Kindle Edition - Amazon Verified Purchase)
Would you
rather have great reviews but average sales or average reviews but great sales?
I did not know it
was possible to have average sales from great reviews – – – however this could
probably happen if the subject matter was only accessible to highly educated
people, given that this market is much smaller. If you pressed me to address
the question, though, I would have to say that I would opt for average reviews
but great sales. In the immortal words of Dr Samuel Johnson, "nobody but a
fool ever wrote for anything but money." And I'm definitely a crowd
pleaser, I make no bones about it!
What advice
would you give to a new author who has just finished writing their first novel
and is unsure as to what steps to take next?
Put your completed
novel aside. Go and do other things – – – even start a new work, if you like.
Allow a month to elapse. Come back to your completed novel and read it through
again. How does it sound? Chances are you will want to make certain
modifications and amendments. After you have done this go over it at least
twice or thrice for grammatical and typographical mistakes. If possible pay a
professional copy editor to apply their skills to it. Read it again. Leave it
for a few more weeks. Read it again. Do a final “polishing”. Check for typos.
Now you are ready. Remember, a spellchecker will not correct all your
typographical mistakes. Now pay to have it read by a professional critique
agency. Find a good one. You don't have to pay a huge amount to get the best.
Go by word of mouth and recommendations. If possible get a second critique.
Adopt all the changes they recommend. Don't argue, just do it. Unless of
course, you honestly feel deep down that what they say will rip the very guts
and soul out of your book. Now you are ready to self publish. Forget
traditional publishers. They will not bother to read it, and will pretend that
they have done so. They will not take you on because you are an unknown even
though your work is terrific. The same applies to agents. They stick to their
existing stable of tried and tested authors, or they will only take you on if
you have already a very prominent exposure in the media, if you are a so-called
"celebrity" of some kind.
Why should
people buy your books?
This is the kind
of question on which I could write any pages, so I will have to be careful. My
Wacky/Scary stories for women (a six volume series of twist in the tale stories
for women); mindful to be modest, most people find this kind of story very
difficult to write – – – it is beyond the abilities of some very successful
authors, so I'm told. They are written in simple language, and are therefore
accessible to everyone. The style is immediate and direct, the writing concise
– – – no wasted words, no meandering. Basically there is a conflict that needs
to be resolved, and the central female character dreams up a novel resolution
which is only revealed to the reader at the end in an unexpected way, which
gives the story a "twist", meaning it is not what the reader had
guessed or could have expected. These are the kind of bestselling stories that
O’Henry, Roald Dahl and Jeffrey Archer wrote, only mine have a woman as the
central character. Each story has something of value in terms of an insight
gained into problem-solving, some nugget of knowledge. The benefits to be
gained from lateral thinking “outside the box”. They will make you smile. They
will leave you wondering. Thinking. Marvelling at the outcome and the ingenuity
of the central woman character. These are stories that leave an impression for
long afterwards and prove that it is possible to overcome problems with a
little careful thought. Others are there mainly to amuse and to keep you
guessing right to the end. They are quick reads and can be read in any
sequence, with situations from daily life and relationships with which the
reader can identify easily. They have been translated into Russian, having been
seen online by a language teacher in Russia who wanted to provide them
to her students as a way of teaching them English, but also to entertain and
educate. I let her have the stories free of charge for this purpose, and she,
her students and the headmaster are my number one fans. Their enthusiasm and
admiration – – – and, hopefully, the publicity I will achieve, will be more
than adequate reward for me.
I've also
published a four volume series of ebooks for young adults: the Sandy Brown/Matt
Black series. Two of the books feature Sandy Brown (Look Out….Mum’s Gone Crackers! and Hunting The Beast). Sandy Brown is a teenager, resourceful and
feisty, not willing to give up in the face of overwhelming odds. The reader
will empathise with her. Identify with the situations in which she finds
herself, and recognise her bravery and ingenuity. They are entertaining and
fast moving, in easy language that flows smoothly and clearly. Not for one
moment is the reader given a chance to get bored, no room is left to allow the
reader's mind to wander, and all this can also be said about the two-volume Matt
Black series (May Never The Dead Return and Running With Zombies). These are
exciting stories with a strong narrative drive that is never allowed to flag.
The reader will stay hooked from start to finish, they are thrillers that also
make people ponder about the mysteries of life and the nature of relationships
and how quickly major changes can take place in the life of a human being,
suddenly and unexpectedly. Matt Black is a cynical, world-weary teenager who is
no stranger to tragedy, and he is constantly trying to find some meaning in his
life. All the books contain mysteries which keep the reader guessing
constantly, with matters seldom resolving themselves in any easy way. Fun reads
which will teach you a lot about life without becoming “heavy” about it. There
is nothing like Wacky/Scary Stories for Women or the Sandy Brown/Matt Black
series on the market. Originality is their hallmark.
. . . . . . . .
Thanks for your
comments, John, and good luck with your writing.
. . . . . . . .
This piece is
taken from my ebook MAY NEVER THE DEAD RETURN. This is where Matt is trying to
make sense of some of the awful events that have recently happened in his life.
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| John M W Smith, author of eleven books. |
I’ll never
understand why people choose to be the way they are rather than the way they
should be. I don’t think most grown-ups are grown up at all.
I wondered if a
hug would make my mum feel better. Then I decided that it would be too uncool.
I mean, I was way too old for all that sort of thing, wasn’t I.
So instead I
mumbled, ‘back soon’ and went out to get my bike.
. . . . . . . .
Follow John on
twitter:
. . . . . . . .
You can find out
more about John M W Smith at his websites and blog:
. . . . . . . .
You can download Learner Driver, a short story by John M W Smith, for free from Smashwords:
You can also download
a selection of free chapters from some of John’s ebooks at Wattpad:
. . . . . . . .
John’s ebooks are
available for Kindle and PC from amazon.com and amazon.co.uk:
Wacky Stories for
Women Volume One:
US: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
UK: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
US: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
UK: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 1 by John M W Smith
Wacky Stories for Women Volume Two:
US: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 2 by John M W Smith
UK: Wacky Stories for Women Volume 2 by John M W Smith
Running With Zombies:
US: Running With Zombies (Sandy Brown and Matt Black Series) by John M W Smith
UK: Running With Zombies (Sandy Brown and Matt Black Series) by John M W Smith
. . . . . . . .
You can also
purchase John’s books from Smashwords:
Wacky Stories For Women Voume One by John M W Smith
Wacky Stories For Women Voume One by John M W Smith
…and from Barnes
And Noble:
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